In my Private Practice I often work with individuals and couples that are looking to reconnect with one another and grow their intimacy after the baby is born. This is a topic that is passionate to me because as a wife and a mom of three, I get it.
Yes our children are a gift, however the truth is they do change the dynamics of a relationship. Our children need our love and so does our significant other. Growing a family also means finding new ways to continue to grow our relationship.
The good news is that there are small things that we can do daily to reignite and restore the love we shared with our significant other before the children arrived. In this post I’ll share three things to help get that flame started and l’ll provide a resource that can be used to feed the flame and help ignite the love fire in your heart and in your loved one’s heart.
1.) Let’s Have Some Fun
Becoming a parent can be exciting and it can be stressful. At times we get so focused on trying to be the best parent and do the right thing that we forget to have fun with our significant other. Take a moment and take inventory on the things you and your loved one like to do for fun. When was the last time you actually did anything for fun? Can you add some more fun to your relationship? Doing things together as a couple that make you laugh and bring you joy can aid in bonding the two of you closer and create happy memories.
2.) Let’s Talk
Baby talk all day long can get dull. As adults we need adult conversation and our significant other is a great person to have that conversation with. It is imperative that we keep the communication lines with our significant other open. Make time to talk one on one daily. You can use this time to share the desires of your heart, your daily challenges, your life goals, and to be open about how parenting is changing and growing you. Talking openly daily is a great way to add value to your relationship and keep the intimacy going.
3.) Let’s Re-Commit
You’re a parent now. Your life has changed and will continue to change. Now may be a good time to re-commit to your significant other. Let’s get back to loving one anther, putting each other first, and let’s get back to making time for one another. It’s time to recommit to your significant other, it’s time to let each other know that you still want them, that you still love them, and that you still want to spend quality time together. Recommitting to one another can help to remind us that our relationship is important and so is our significant other.
As mentioned above these are just a few ways to keep the love in our relationship growing as we transition into parenthood and/or into life with multiple children. Our family grows, our heart grows, and our relationship should be growing too; so we must remember to nurture it. You can find more detailed acts of Love that we can do daily in the newest book, The Love Challenge, 30 Days, 30 Ways To Increase The Love In Your Relationship.
Melissa Dumaz is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 15 years of experience in psychotherapy. She specializes in guiding clients through the complexities of overcoming emotional and physical trauma. She also helps clients of all ages deal with grief, anxiety, postpartum depression, relationship issues, parenting, transitions in life, family conflict, self-esteem and stress management. Click here to learn more.